I was browsing livejournal for interesting people, and got tired of infinite numbers of journals by 22-year-olds whining about the stuff that 22-year-olds whine about, so I searched for people born the same year I was, who list anime as one of their interests. You're the most interesting one who's popped up so far. You are a month younger than me, and I can see you're dealing with some of the same things I am, as I see the traditional start-date of middle age coming very close, and still living in what might be politely called "bohemian circumstances." I'm working on my third novel, none published, and trying to juggle it with a day job that consumes 12 hours a day, paying back large amounts of debt and other idiotic things that take time away from the important parts of life.
I don't have any pat answers for the conundrums of life, though I can say from my own experience that "not playing by society's rules," has consequences which become progressively harder to dismiss as one gets older. Everything I know about it, suggests that if you have the stomach for the long dark forest, something good will come out of it -- but that doesn't make it any easier day to day. Ultimately we do these things because they are worth doing, not for any exterior reason (such as money or the praise of the mob or whatever). About the only thing I know for sure is that the fact that I've reached this age without giving up, means something. So anyway, you have a sympathizer down in Texas, whatever that's worth.
It happens
I was browsing livejournal for interesting people, and got tired of infinite numbers of journals by 22-year-olds whining about the stuff that 22-year-olds whine about, so I searched for people born the same year I was, who list anime as one of their interests. You're the most interesting one who's popped up so far. You are a month younger than me, and I can see you're dealing with some of the same things I am, as I see the traditional start-date of middle age coming very close, and still living in what might be politely called "bohemian circumstances." I'm working on my third novel, none published, and trying to juggle it with a day job that consumes 12 hours a day, paying back large amounts of debt and other idiotic things that take time away from the important parts of life.
I don't have any pat answers for the conundrums of life, though I can say from my own experience that "not playing by society's rules," has consequences which become progressively harder to dismiss as one gets older. Everything I know about it, suggests that if you have the stomach for the long dark forest, something good will come out of it -- but that doesn't make it any easier day to day. Ultimately we do these things because they are worth doing, not for any exterior reason (such as money or the praise of the mob or whatever). About the only thing I know for sure is that the fact that I've reached this age without giving up, means something. So anyway, you have a sympathizer down in Texas, whatever that's worth.
All the best --
Nigel Redcoffin